if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
