I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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