I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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