Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
