I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize