No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize