No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
