:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
