Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
