I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
