We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
