Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
