i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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