just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
