Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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