she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
