It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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