also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
