She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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