The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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