Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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