in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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