I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
