and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize