she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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