we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
