so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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