It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
