I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
