She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
