i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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