btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
