Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
