Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
