when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
