Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
