As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
