why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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