The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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