Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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