Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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