whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
