a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
