That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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