she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize