Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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(408): View more from California

hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner

(1-408): View more from California

if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends

Fav 29 4971 1352
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(716): View more from New York

Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.

Fav 14 4815 876
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(954): View more from Florida

I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.

Fav 28 5675 1945
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Wow. Its not even 11am.

Fav 3 3386 1382
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on

Fav 12 5310 1724
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(937): View more from Ohio

BoomCity!!!

(1-937): View more from Ohio

You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.

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(559): View more from California

This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.

Fav 1 6 35
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(817): View more from Texas

I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.

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