sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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