I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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