it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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