you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
