Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize