sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
