Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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