so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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