GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
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