im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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