So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
