worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I FOUND THE LEGS
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
