Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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