There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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