Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
