I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
