why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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