is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I would fuck him just for his dog
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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