i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
