Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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