Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
