You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
